A.K.A Are You A Paedophile? If you gave this film four stars, and work for Total Film, Empire, The Times, The Big Issue, Uncut, or The Evening Standard, the answer is unresoundedly ‘yes’.
What a ridiculous film. It’s boring, long, and nothing like a Guillermo del Toro fillum, which was why I bought it. I need to learn not to judge a DVD by its cover. Even if there are a million brilliant reviews plastered all over the front, it might actually still be shit. Like Innocence.
It’s about a weird school for little girls in the middle of some woods. They wear their hair in pigtails, frolick in their pants and vests, and have coloured ribbons to depict their age (a bit like Logan’s Run, says Steve). They also learn ballet, and then dance around for an anonymous, unseen audience, before learning about periods and then leaving the school.
It’s weird. And I felt uncomfortable all the way through.
Do you think HMV will give me my £10 back? On account of I don’t like little kids?
Rating: 
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
My rule of thumb: The more they try to convince you it’s a good film with it’s reviews, the shitter the film.
Also, the Logan’s Run reference just gave me a flashback to watching it with Steve on a break at McDiddies. Also, I just remembered watching Countdown with him, and his insistence that Aeroplane was going to come out. Every. Single. Round.
I don’t know why you would be uncomfortable watching this film. I feel sorry for you if you thought it was long and boring. I found it had excellent cinematography and a beautiful air of mystery.
You don’t need to feel sorry for me, you can just buy my DVD off me for the tenner I paid for it. That, I reckon, will restore balance in the world.