Before we went to see this, Steve told me that Adam and Joe had said it was a bag of crap, and that they were bored all the way through it. I mocked him, on account of I thought the first Transformers film was awesome, and how could anyone be bored through a film with Megan Fox in, right?
Wrong.
I spent some of the two and a half hours deciding whether to do my white wash before my coloured wash, and then what to wear to work tomorrow, and what food I might need for this weekend when my dad visits, and then some of the time asleep. The only drawback to being asleep was that when I woke up, Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen was still on.
The reasons this film sucks ass are:
1) It is full of tacky, weak one-liners that simply don’t work
2) It doesn’t make sense. Since when do Transformers turn into hot student cyborgs? And since when does a bit of that cube thing turn everything in the kitchen into a little robot? Never, that’s when. Bollocks.
3) It has inconsistently bad CGI. Sometimes it’s really very, very good. Other times it’s appalling (like when Shia LeBeef touches Bumblebee’s face in his garage. Shockingly bad), and you can never tell which you’re going to get.
4) The script is poor.
5) It is boring. Adam and Joe were right.
If you’re going to see this film, see it on Orange Wednesday so at least you’re not paying as much. Or wait til it’s on DVD. Or even better, telly.
Rating: 
