Steve fell for the ‘lots of those leafy award symbols on the DVD cover’ trick, like I often do, with this one. To be fair, the sequel’s got Danny Dyer in, and everyone knows he’s awesome, so you’d assume that the Jack franchise is better-than-crap. But then, you know what assuming does – makes a d*ckhead out of you and me. That’s a quote from Jack Says, and it’s the best line it’s got.
Labelled as a film noir, as the back of the DVD says, it’s ‘poignantly Mike Reid’s last film’. Not sure why that’s poignant but all I know is that it’s poorly acted, scripted and shot throughout the whole thing, and there’s this awful, awful music that only fits the film because both are bobbins. The ‘Eric Cantona Gag Reel’ in the extras consists of Cantona showing why he should stick to football, except that he’s too old for that.
I hope Jack Said is better. Well, it can’t be any worse.
Rating: 
