What the..? Seriously, what happened? Adrien Brody, film dude extraordinaire, done a bad film, that’s what happened.
He fully deserves a chinese burn and a kick in the nuts for being involved in Splice. And maybe a Glasgow kiss, but to be fair that nose might do more damage to the kisser than the kissee.
Why is it a bad film? Because Sarah Polley, of Dawn of the Dead fame, plays possibly the most annoying character in any film to date. A character who eats tictacs and mixes splices her DNA with some animals’ DNA and makes a monster that starts off cute, then turns into a fox (i.e. a hot lady, albeit with wings, a tail, amphibian lungs and bizarre feet, not an actual fox although wouldn’t that be topical! She could go into middle-class families’ houses and attack their children – now that’s a monster for you!), gets rude with Big Nose, then turns into a dude and rapes Mrs Tictacs.
Crap? Worse. Particularly painful was that Steve’s phone ran out of battery just as he got to the ticket booth and so rather than Orange Wednesdaying it he had to pay for two full tickets. I’m so, so sorry : (
Rating: 
